Tag Archives: Monster

Story: Life with Paradox – Chapter 17 (nsfw)


A month later.

Silver stumbled slightly and let out a deep breath, she looked behind her and saw that Paradox was concentrating on the painting before him. She shook her head and flapped her wings to go upstairs.

Paradox glanced over to Silver and she was trying to fly up the stairs. She was two weeks due and she had gotten too big to fly so he helped her around the house a lot. She had also taken five months off from her duty as Celestia’s guard.

She looked at the stairs and let out a frustrated sigh. She stepped on the first step when Paradox came up and picked her up. “Oh Doxy, I can do it.”

He shook his head. “Nope, I won’t hear of it. You’re about to have our foal, and you need to conserve your energy.”carryme

“I don’t like this, I was used to not needing help and all I can do is walk a little distance.” She started to cry. “I feel like I’m all worthless.”

He kissed her. “You’re not worthless, you’re a gorgeous mare with a life inside of her.” Paradox nuzzled her neck.

“Why are you so sweet?” She asked in between sniffles.carrymecolored

“I take after my mother.” He whispered as he carried her upstairs. When they got upstairs he opened the door to their bedroom and placed her on the bed. “There we go. In the snuggly bed.”

She looked at him and suddenly blushed. “Doxy, did I ever tell you that I’m the envy of all the mares in Ponyville?”

“No, why is that?” He asked as he got on the bed and started to rub her shoulders and wing joints.

She sighed at the massage. “That feels wonderful.” Her wings spread out.

“You’re the envy why?” He asked as he looked at her wings. He bit his lip as he felt himself grow aroused. He rubbed her shoulder again.

“Yes, they all think you’re sexy and they all want you. They’re jealous of me. Some even say that I took you away from them.” She felt his paw stop rubbing her shoulder.

“Who said that?” He asked as he moved his paw over to her back.

“Some grey mare with a snobby attitude. She said you gave her a lot of attention, but you just stopped seeing her one day.” She felt him stop massaging her back and lean slowly over her.

She felt his lips touch her ear. “That mare told me that I was a monster and I’d never be loved. She laughed in my face and broke my heart. You never treated me like she treated me and I am grateful to this day that destiny brought us together.”

She blinked as she looked at him. “Doxy why did she do that to you?”

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. What matters now is that you just relax.” He whispered as he rubbed down her back with both paws. He was still aroused as he looked at her muscles in her back.

She nodded. “I wanted to punch her in the face then. Now I really want to punch her in the face.”

He grinned at her. “Silver, you are very sexy. Don’t worry about that mare she isn’t worth your beautiful wrath.” He moved his paw down her back feeling the muscles relax under his touch. He kissed down her neck slowly as he moved his paws to her thighs.

Silver melted into the bed as he kissed her. “I am grateful to have you in my life. I love you Doxy.”

He moved her tail to the side. “I love you too.” He murmured softly as he kissed along her mane. He was throbbing hard for her.

She moved her hips up. She let out a gasp when he slowly rubbed his arousal over her folds. “Mmm please.” She whispered.

She was wet for him and that made him want her more. “You’re wonderful.” He moaned out as he pushed into her carefully.

Silver began to pant as he made love to her. Every nerve in her body was electrified making every sensation enhanced. So much that she shuddered from an instantaneous orgasm. “Ah oh…yes…”

He blinked in shock as he felt her quiver around him, but he continued to make love to her pushing in deeply and pulling back. She felt tight and perfect he felt her body shudder under him as she tightened around him. “Oh uhh… Silver. You’re squeezing me like a vice…” He groaned out.

“Cannot help it. Oh Doxy! Ohhh!” She exclaimed as she came again.

He growled softly as he pushed deeply into her and grind up against her rear. “So tight, uhh by the eternal moon you feel so wonderful.” He released his pent up need into her.

Silver gasped when he released and she came again their orgasmic pleasure flowing together making them both feel euphoric.

He leaned over her and hugged her against him as he emptied into her. Giving her quick thrusts spilling every bit into her before pulling out of her tightness.

They both lay in the bed breathing hard from the love making. Soon both of them drifted off to sleep.

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 94


Luna, Twilight, Discord, Lilly, Paradox and Fluttershy all sat at the table.

“What is going on?” Twilight asked. “Discord, what is this shadow?”

He looked at her. “If I knew that then I could deal with it. As of right now, I have no idea what we are dealing with.”

Luna wrinkled her nose. “The entity was forming a corporal body but before we could discern a shape it had taken Celestia and disappeared.”

“Dad, it’s the demon from my depression! It wants me back. It wants my soul. I don’t want to go back. I don’t. I… feel so helpless.” Paradox gasped out. “Please Dad don’t let it get me.”Comingforme

Discord put his paw on Paradox’s shoulder and squeezed him reassuringly. “I won’t let it near you. You’ll be alright.”

Silver Dash was standing right beside Zero; they both were in their uniforms. “It’ll be alright Doxy.” She whispered.

Zero looked at Silver. “I hope so.” He said to her.

Scarlet Grace walked into the room followed by her husband Flight Strike she had Trouble in her arms. “We came as soon as we could. What happened?”

“Twilight and Luna decided to visit Celestia in her dreams.” Discord muttered. “It didn’t go the way it should have.”

Scarlet Grace blinked. “What?”

Twilight Sparkle sighed and told Scarlet Grace what had happened to get her up to speed.

Fluttershy looked up at her daughter. “Gracie, I think Scarlet needs to place her paw on Luna or Twilight. Maybe she can get a vision of what is going on.”

Flight Strike walked forward. “Oh no. She doesn’t need the stress.”flightstrike

“Flight, it’s ok. I’ll be fine.” She gave him Trouble to hold. “It’s a good thing he’s asleep.” She walked over to Luna. “Princess Luna? May I?”

Luna glanced at every pony in the room and nodded. “Yes.”

Scarlet placed her paw on Luna’s shoulder then looked over at Twilight. “Auntie, I mean… Princess Twilight? May I?”

“Sure.” Twilight nodded, she felt odd that her niece was asking permission to touch her shoulder.

Scarlet placed her claw on Twilight and suddenly let out a soft breath. She started to blink as her eyes clouded over and they glowed white. “Revenge, retribution. He’ll please his master he’ll not be defeated. The unborn. P… Paradox. Make him be who he doesn’t want to be. Corrupt all. The ultimate prize.” She suddenly let go of both of the Alicorn’s and stumbled back. Both Zero and Silver stepped forward and steadied Scarlet Grace. She leaned on them as they led her to the chair close to Flight.

She sat down her eyes still blind as she placed her claw and paw on the table in front of her. She opened her mouth slightly and seemed to be talking to herself, a whispering noise was coming from her lips. She put her head up and gasped loudly several times as if she was needing air. When she looked back down her eyes had turned completely black.

“That is creepy.” Breathed Paradox as he stared at his younger sister.gracetrance“Shush.” LillyRose muttered.

Scarlet stared ahead with her black eyes. She opened her mouth to talk, her voice wasn’t her own. She looked directly at Paradox. “You’re going to come back.” She looked over at Discord. “I… will destroy you.”

Discord growled as he hit the table in front of Scarlet. “Who are you!?”

“You know who I am.” Scarlet growled back. “Don’t be ignorant.”

Discord suddenly frowned. “Get out of my daughter now!”

“Now Discord… You know I am just being filtered through her. Although she is quite comfortable; maybe I’ll stay for a while.”

Flight Strike got up. “NO! Not my Gracie!”

Lilly put her hoof up and made Flight sit back down. “It’s alright Flight, she’s just a vessel right now. She’ll not be harmed.”

Scarlet looks at LillyRose. “You… I underestimated you last time. I know how to get you now… You are just part of the whole.”

Scarlet suddenly gasped loudly and her head went forward and she started to shake as she closed her eyes. Everyone stood up as they watched Scarlet go into a convulsion. She grabbed the table digging her claws into the wood. She put her head back again as she growled. “GET OUT!” She shook again as she put her head against the table. She slowly opened her eyes and they were back to normal.

“Grace.” Flight Strike said to her as he gave her a kiss on her muzzle. “Are you alright?”

Grace looked at every pony staring at her. “I think I passed out. Sorry.”

Discord suddenly sat down heavily on his chair. “I think I know who it is.”

Every pony looked at him.

Twilight blinked. “WHO!?”

“It’s a demon!” Paradox yelled. “And he’s coming to drag me into Tartarus! I cannot… I won’t go!” He looked at Fluttershy. “Mom… The demon tried to turn me… he tried to make me a monster… Please Mom… Please.”

Fluttershy hugged Paradox and held him close. “It’s okay Doxy. We’ll keep you safe. Won’t we?” She looked up at Discord.

“Of course we will.” Discord answered. “Nothing is going to tear my family apart.” He looked at Twilight and Luna. “We have to talk…. Privately.”

Both Luna and Twilight nodded.

He kissed Fluttershy on her lips. “I just need to go. I’ll be back love.” Fluttershy nodded. He ruffled Paradox’s mane and hugged Lilly and Scarlet Grace. “Don’t worry I’ll fix this.”

“Dad, what are you going to do?” Lilly asked as she suddenly saw that her father was following Luna and Twilight out the door.

“I’m going to fix the problem Lilly.”

“I’m coming with you.” Lilly said.

Zero suddenly walked over to Lilly. “Dear. I don’t think it’s wise, you’re about to foal.”

She bit her bottom lip. “But… I cannot just…”

Discord looked at Lilly. “It’ll be okay. The shadow was banished before… It can be again.”

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 91


Paradox yawned and stretched as he put his arm around Silver but he suddenly gasped. She wasn’t there and he jumped up. “SILVER!”

“Sssssilver isn’t here. Come on Paradox, you need to come back to me… Didn’t you enjoy drowning in your dessspair?” Long shadowy tendrils rose around him and Paradox gulped.

“Go away.” Paradox closed his eyes. “Lilly saved me from you.”

“Come with me… I’ll ssshow you what they all really think of you…” The shadow grabbed Paradox’s wings and wrapped around them. “You’re a monsssster… ssshe will never marry the monssssster that dwellsss within your sssoul…”doxnightmare“NO! I’m not going with you! NO!” Paradox sat up in his bed and started gasping he looked around in his bedroom and saw Silver looking at him worry on her face.

“What happened Doxy?” She asked.

“Oh! Silver, you’re here… My sweet love.” Paradox put his fingers through her mane. “Don’t leave me Silver, please.”

“I’m here Dox, I won’t leave you.” She leaned against him. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Don’t leave me. I’m not really a monster, I’m not.” He gulped as he looked into her eyes.

Silver kissed his muzzle. “I know you’re not a monster. I know who I fell in love with.” She stared into his beautiful blue eyes as she kissed him. “I will forever think about how I can fly in the blue of your eyes getting lost but yet never lost because I would be a part of you forever.”

He sat up and pulled her to him. “Silver, its back, and it wants to drag me down again, I have to tell Lilly and Dad.”

“What is it?” Silver asked.

“I don’t know… but it said it needed me to fall back into despair again.” He let out a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to go back… I don’t ever want to be in that darkness again. I had nightmares that would last for days or weeks at a time. A demon would haunt me in those nightmares. I couldn’t see this demon, but he’d be there, whispering poison into my ears. At times I would think it was best if I just ended my life. I almost did a few times. I don’t want to be there again Silver. I don’t.”

“I won’t let it get you Doxy.” Silver said gently. “I’m here for you.”

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 78


“So what is this party about?” Silver Dash asked as she placed her helmet next to a box of odd paints and brushes that Paradox had just left on a table. His room overlooked a lot of wonderful landscapes. Since he had recovered from his depression he had been a lot more creative. Silver though seemed to be the only one to have seen a lot of his creations and she had told him that he should show some of the paintings and drawings he had done to his family. He was adamant in the fact that his family wouldn’t understand his ambition and Silver knew that was just an excuse.

“I am not sure what the party is about.” Paradox replied from the other room. “Why are you here so early? I thought maybe you wanted to stay with mom a little longer than usual.”

“Why would I do that?” She asked as she walked further into the room. “My shift was over as soon as your mom was with your dad.”

Paradox’s eyes widened as he saw her walk further into the room. “Silver, can you please wait over there?” He said vaguely.

“Oh, sure Doxy? Can you elaborate more?” She looked behind her and she stepped back until she was near the opposite wall.

“Nope, I don’t think so.” He snickered as he kept hidden.

Silver leaned against the wall and let out a deep sigh. “I wish you would hurry in getting ready. I would love to get cake sometime tonight. No matter what the party is about.”

“Cake does sound delicious.” Paradox replied as he slowly stepped out from his hiding place. Silver blinked at him. He was dressed up really nice, wearing a suit with a tie. She blinked several times.suitedDox

“Doxy?” Silver questioned him.

He smirked as he looked at her. “Yes Silver?”

“Why are you dressed up? Not that I am complaining, since I don’t see you dressed like that often. This is Sprinkle Icing’s party we are going to, and she usually doesn’t have fancy dress up parties.” Silver Dash admired him.

“Actually, I wasn’t planning on going to Sprinkle Icing’s right away.” He smirked as he put his paw through his mane. “I thought that we’d go take a walk through Whitetail Woods for a while.

“Whitetail Woods?” Silver blinked. “What’s in there?”

“Once you and I get there, we’ll be there.” He replied.

“Well, gee… I never would have figured that out Doxy.” She sighed. “Why do we have to go there?”

“It’s a secret.” He smiled at her. “Come here and I will take us there.”

Silver looked at him doubtfully and slowly walked over to him. “I hope what you’re planning isn’t scary.”

He looked at her. “Scary? I may be a monster… but I am far from a scary one.”

She suddenly blinked in surprise. “You’re not a monster.”

“I know that.” He picked her up and nuzzled her neck as they disappeared.

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 53


Lilly was starting to get worried, hungry and cold. She stood up and stretched as she looked around the seemingly abandoned ruins. Her stomach growled as she opened her bag and started to eat an apple. She walked over to one vine covered wall and placed her hoof on it. A door suddenly appeared. “What?” She tried the handle but it didn’t budge. “I wonder where it goes.” She moved her hoof and it suddenly opened. Lilly walked into the room and the door shut behind her the hearth came to life as a fire started to burn; a table appeared with food on it. She blinked in surprise then smiled. “Thanks Dad.”

Discord’s ears perked up. “Some pony is in my castle.”

Twilight looked at him. “How in Equestria do you know that?”

He shrugged. “Oh. Well. I was worried for nothing, it’s just Lilly. I hope she finds it accommodating.” He then grinned at Twilight. “My castle and I, we are best buds. We tell each other everything.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Twilight muttered.

“It’s not in my nature to be understood.” Discord replied. Twilight glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at her as he seemed more interested in another stalactite that was dripping red water.

Silver walked over to Twilight and whispered. “You know, I am beginning to think that you do like him.”

Twilight scoffed. “Oh… please. He’s just an annoyance. I want this over with so we can help Princess Celestia and get her back on the throne and get Equestria away from his grasp.”

“He’s not that bad of a ruler.” Silver muttered. “So what we get unusual rain and we have odd crops, it’s just part of chaos isn’t it? You cannot go through life without a little bit of disarray. Nothing is perfect.”

Twilight thought about it for a moment. “Hmph. You don’t understand; he’s pretty much the epitome of Chaos.”

Silver smirked. “Be glad he is on our side then. As I said, he isn’t that bad of a ruler.”

Twilight just shook her head and didn’t continue to talk about it as she watched Silver walk over to Discord.

“Um…” Silver said to Discord.

Discord’s looked down at Silver. “Yes?”

“When we find out the source of the water… What will we do with it?” Silver asked.

He smiled. “Well, I am hoping to get enough water to…” He paused as if he just didn’t want to tell Silver what he really wanted to do with the water. “I’m sorry; I just cannot tell you my intentions. Now, Twilight is intending to save her mentor Celestia, and I am not so sure even the Spring of Eternity will help her.” He looked sad then he smiled. “Hopefully, when we find the source we’ll be able to fix the problem.”

Silver watched him as he made a vial of water disappear as he strolled casually down the cave. She walked beside him as Twilight walked a couple paces behind taking a book from her side pack and was paging through it.

“So…” Discord said breaking the silence. “Silver, indulge me. What makes you interested in Paradox?”

Silver started to blush as she stumbled slightly at his question and she looked at her hooves. “I… I love him.” She felt her cheeks burning and she looked up at Discord. “I always wanted to be with him, we grew up together, but he was always fawning over other fillies so I… resigned myself that he and I were never meant to be… Until … the night he and I met on the training field near the barracks.”

His ears perked up. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Well, I thought he was a unicorn that had fallen down drunk and I offered to help him up and… he turned into Paradox and he told me… That I was beautiful.” She blushed as she flapped her wings. “He then asked me an odd question.”

“What question was that?” He blinked as they turned a corner and he looked up slightly.

“He asked me if he looked like a monster.” Silver said.

He glanced at her. “And your answer?”chatwdis“I… I told him no… and he hugged me and thanked me.”

Discord smiled. “Thank You.”

Silver blinked and looked at Discord. “Why are you thanking me?”

He shrugged as he was staring suddenly at something ahead of them she looked ahead too and stopped in her tracks. Looming ahead of them was a large barricade made of a fine crystal beyond the barrier was the water for the Spring of Eternity. It was backed up but in a few spots the barricade spouted little trickling leaks.

He smirked and made like he was cracking his knuckles as he strode over to it but stopped suddenly and fell over as if he fainted.

Silver gasped and ran forward, but fell too. Twilight frowned not knowing what was going on, carefully she approached the barrier felt her ears start to ring loudly she shook her head and stumbled forward only to fall as well. Knocked unconscious by something.

Paradox and Zero walked around the bend not even twenty minutes later and noticed the large crystal barrier then noticed Discord, Twilight, and Silver on the ground seemingly asleep.

Paradox saw Silver and was going to run to her side when Zero grabbed his tail.

“Wait, that isn’t normal. It’s an enchantment; I don’t think it’s safe to run over to them.” Zero stated. “It’s so strong that it even got Twilight and your father.”

“So, what do you suggest we do?” Paradox asked. “I don’t know anything about enchantments; Lilly is the only one that studied them.”

“Can you send Lilly something that would hint on the fact that we need help?” Zero asked.

“Maybe.” Paradox said.

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 19


Fluttershy looked outside; it was beautiful with the sun shining and the birds singing. The castle in Canterlot had the best views of everything, even when Discord wanted the horizon to show pinstripes and argyles in the sky. She sighed deeply as she went to sit back down to work on her knitting.

“Mom?” A low whisper came from the adjacent room.

Fluttershy got up quickly and walked into the darkened room. “Yes Dox? You need me?”

“Yes, am I still a monster?”

“You’re my unique child, and I love you.” She whispered.

He sat up to look at her as he flapped his beautiful blue wings. “I don’t think you know what I am. I’m horrible. I’m a monster. Monster.” He grabbed one of his wings and started to tear his feathers out one by one.

Fluttershy ran to him. “No! Don’t do that… Those are your wings, they are beautiful. Stop it Dox, please!!” She put her hooves in between his paws and his wings. He scratched her and she gasped pulling away.

Paradox stopped when he saw he had harmed his mother and he suddenly curled around himself. “See… I am a monster.” He started to cry and shake.

Fluttershy recovered quickly, walking up and slowly lying down next to him as she put her soft wing over his shaking body. He was twice her size but she still said, “No…no… You are my sweet little boy… my little boy. I love you. Please don’t cry, don’t cry…”

My sweet little boy.
My sweet little boy.

There was a noise in the other room and hoof steps were heard. Fluttershy looked up from trying to comfort Paradox and her eyes widened at seeing her daughter Lilly walk into the dark room.

“Lilly!” Fluttershy got up. “Where have you been? What are you doing here?”

“Hello Mom. I have missed you. How is Paradox?” Lilly’s eyes were shining slightly. Fluttershy hadn’t seen her in almost a year.

“Dox had just tried to pull out his feathers, so he is the same.” She held up her hoof and showed Lilly what he had done to her. Lilly nodded and leaned down and kissed her mother’s hoof. The scratches started to heal instantly.

“I have a plan Mom, has Dad been around?”

Fluttershy sighed and looked at a castle spire across the way. “He has been distant, he gives me his love, but he is hurting inside. I can sense it.”

Lilly approached Paradox he looked up at her without moving, his mane was long and unruly his eyes were sunken in and shallow looking. It was as if he had given up, Lilly stepped around the feathers that he had just torn from his wings. “Look at you; you are nothing but a pitiful heap of worthlessness.” She said to him bitterly. “How can I call you my brother? We are supposed to be equals. You are supposed to protect me; not the opposite!”

Paradox Stares into space

Paradox just watched her; his eyes were dim and seemed to show nothing but loss.

Fluttershy went to Lilly, “Please Lilly, don’t make him feel worse.”

Lilly looked at her mother. “It’s ok. Let me do this. Please Mom, if you don’t want to see me do this you can wait in the other room.”

Fluttershy placed her hoof on her lips and just sat down to watch Lilly.

Lilly turned back to Paradox. “You are older than me by five minutes, Dad saw you first before he fainted. Our Dad, the Spirit of Chaos; fainted… he was so happy that you were born. He loves us, he loves you… You know this.”

Paradox didn’t say anything as he looked up at his sister, slowly blinking his dull blue eyes.lillyhome

“You used to protect me Paradox. You would come to me when I was sad.” She moved her long tail over to her brother’s muzzle. “You’d even bite Aunt Misery’s tail when you thought she was going to hurt me. She didn’t of course.”

“That was kind of funny.” He finally said softly.

“Of course it was.” Lilly looked at him sternly. She then looked at Fluttershy. “Mom, can you get Dad. Please?”

Fluttershy looked at her children reluctantly. “I will, don’t hurt your brother Lilly.”

“I will not hurt Paradox.” Lilly nodded.

Fluttershy spread her wings and flew out the window to fly to the spire across the courtyard of Canterlot Castle. “I’ll be back.”

Lilly nodded to her mother and then turned back to Paradox. “I am a monster. If there ever was a monster. I am one.” Her mane started to glow deeply. Her eyes started to glow a deep crimson that seemed to radiate within.

Paradox sat up as he looked at his sister. “What makes you say that?”

“We… are all monsters Paradox. You, me, Dad, Mom, our aunts, our uncle and our little sister. We are all monsters. It may come as a shock, but… it is true. We are… all monsters.”

His eyes widened as he stared at his sister, her soft red coat was glowing as she revealed the truth. “You… mean…”

“I mean… that you are not alone, you are a monster, but not all monsters are evil. You are not evil Dox. You never have been; you never will be. I, on the other hoof… am evil.”

“No, you are not!” Discord walked in, grabbed Lilly and hugged her.

“Dad…” Lilly gasped as her father put his paw and claw around to pull her in a comforting hug.hugsdiscord

“Never say that you are evil.” Discord muttered as he let his daughter go to look at her. “You are my little LillyRose. My double flower.” He sniffled as a tear started to roll down his cheek.

Paradox slowly got up off the bed he had been in and took a step. Lilly gasped at the fact that Dox was moving, something he hadn’t done in a while. “Sister…”

Lilly moved away from Discord as she trotted to her brother quickly as he took another step towards them. “Do you understand what I have told you?” She asked as he placed his paws on her supporting back.

Paradox nodded as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Yes, Lilly. Thank you… You have opened my eyes. I’m a monster, but I am not an evil monster. I shouldn’t dwell on it.”

“Yes…” Lilly said softly to her brother, tears started to form in her eyes and she smiled lightly. “You are my only brother; I do not want to lose you to despair.”


Fluttershy put her hooves to her mouth as she watched Paradox holding onto Lilly. Her eyes were filled with tears as her mane fell slightly in front of her face. “That is what I have been trying to tell you, my Doxy.”

Discord watched as he moved towards his children. “There will be some time to heal. Paradox, will you be okay? You have been on the edge of despair for over two years. I have only seen one other descend into despair before, but he was never able to escape its poisonous grip…” Discord stopped and wiped a tear that was threatening to fall from his eyes.

“It warped him, consumed him like a flame that caused his body to twist and change. It made him bitter and vile.” Fluttershy finished for Discord as she leaned against him. Discord hugged and looked at her. “I never want that to happen to you Dox.” She sniffled as she put her head against Discord’s chest.

Lilly blinked as she looked at her parents and her ears suddenly went up. “You… are talking about our uncle Sorrow.” *note

Discord made a low growl at the name and frowned. “It is alright.” Fluttershy said to him softly. “You know he is no longer around.”

“Even from beyond he tries to destroy my family.” Discord muttered. “That is in the past though… Come here Lilly and Dox.” He hugged them both and he couldn’t stop from crying; one feeling better and the other finally home. “My family… together again… Wait until Scarlet Grace finds out…”

Lilly wiped her eyes and looked at her family. “I’m sorry I left… I just… I needed to help Doxy…”

“You missed Grace’s wedding.” Fluttershy said.

“She’s married?” Lilly was shocked.

“Yeah, and we’ll be grandparents soon.” Fluttershy smirked as she leaned on Discord.

Lilly shook her head, “I came back to a lot of changes.”

“Yes,” Discord said. “Except… you will still have a guard assigned to you.”

“I don’t need a guard Dad.” Lilly muttered.


* Read Her Butterflies

Story: Paradox’s Despair – Chapter 12


Two guards stood outside Paradox’s room at attention looking forward with no emotion. One an earth pony the other a unicorn.

“There is a way to make you happy again.” Lilly said, “I’m going to make you happy.”

“How?” Paradox asked as he sat looking at the food that Lilly brought him.

“I don’t know yet.” she said as she looked at her hooves. “We moved to this great looking castle and there are many other ponies here in Canterlot and you choose to hide in this room.”

“Only because you have found your inner power, you’re Lady Chaos.” Paradox muttered as he poked the cake on his dessert plate.apple

“Big deal Dox. I’m still looking for myself.” Lilly grabbed the apple from his plate and started to eat it.

“Maybe you should ask Scarlet for insight.” he muttered.

“Scarlet doesn’t say anything unless it’s important, plus she never gives a straight answer. Besides it’ll just confuse Grace.” She then smiled. “Oh, did you know? Grace has a boyfriend.”

Paradox growled and sat up. “What?”

“Yes, it’s serious too. I met him; he’s a real gentle pony.”

“What does dad think of him?” Paradox was frowning.

“You know how dad is…” Lilly rolled her eyes.

Paradox lay back. “He terrorized him. Good.”

“Yeah, but no.” Lilly smirked.

Paradox looked at his sister. “Lilly, you are not telling me everything.”

She grinned at him. “I don’t want to. What a better way to get you out of here to talk to some pony else than mom and I.”

“I’m not interested.” He answered. “Besides, no one wants to talk to a monster.”

“I’ll tell you something… I am planning on leaving, I don’t know when or how long I will be gone.”

Paradox looked at her. “Why?”

“I cannot explain it Dox, but I feel like I am drowning at night and I feel like I need to claw through mud to catch my breath. It was like when I was being possessed by that evil entity that broke Celestia.” She gulped. “I don’t like that feeling Dox…”

“That is how I feel everyday Lilly. I need to destroy this feeling though; I don’t know how you can bare it while I feel like it is going to take me over.” Paradox closed his eyes. “Sometimes I let it just wash completely over me and wish it would really drown me, but it doesn’t. I awake the next morning.”

“Don’t drown Dox. I wouldn’t want that to happen to you. I want… no I think I need you to be happy again.” She leaned against him and sighed. “I love you Doxy. You have always been with me. I wish you were well enough to travel with me.”

Paradox sighed and leaned against her. “It is family that keeps me going. I am guessing that I would be lost if it wasn’t for you. I love you too Lilly. I am sorry if I cannot let this feeling go within me.”

"I would be lost if it wasn’t for you."
“I would be lost if it wasn’t for you.”

“I will find a way to make you escape those strange claws of doubt within you.” She muttered as she hugged him. “Eat something Doxy. I’m going to go and talk to Mom and Dad.”

Lilly walked out of her brother’s room and stopped when her guard snapped to attention. She let out a frustrated huff as she walked down the steps of the tower while her guard followed her.

“If you were a Pegasus; we’d already be at my parent’s room.” She muttered to the guard. He didn’t say anything as he walked behind her. He looked around and slowly looked down at her long scaly tail as she carried it slightly up so it wouldn’t drag on the ground. His eyes traveled up her tail to her hips and he felt his face start to burn with a blush; he looked away quickly.

Lilly kept grumbling as she started up the steps to the tower where her parents stayed. “How can I tell them?” She was asking herself. “So do I tell them that I am leaving and that they should not worry about me?”

Zero wanted to say something but he kept quiet as he walked up the stairs behind her, he kept his eyes averted from looking at her rear again though. Professionalism, remember your training, and keep thoughts to yourself.

Zero's View.
Zero’s View.


As they go to the top of the tower Lilly trotted to the doors where two guards were standing. They both put up their wings to block Lilly. “Halt.”

Lilly frowned at the guards. “Seriously? I am their daughter.”

“Lord Discord said they are not to be disturbed.” A large guard muttered to Lilly.

“I’m their daughter!” Lilly growled.

“My Lady?” Zero suddenly spoke up.

Lilly turned and looked at her guard. “What?”

“Maybe, they are doing something… important?” Zero gulped as she stared at him with her crimson eyes.

Lilly looked at the guards at the door, then she turned away her face was suddenly burning as a blush ran over her cheeks. “Oh.” She suddenly extended her wings. “I’m going to fly to my room, if you want to guard it, you’ll have to get there on your own.” She jumped up and flew towards her room in another tower.

Zero let out a deep sigh and hung his head after he looked at the two guards. They both shook their heads at him as he set out at a run to find Lilly’s room on his own.

Zero let out a deep sigh...
Zero let out a deep sigh

Story: Paradox’s Despair. Chapter 4


Lilly felt her soul was ripped up and she laid her head on the table as she looked at her mother. Fluttershy was crying as she looked at her daughter and felt at a loss at what she could do to make her feel better.

Scarlet Grace walked into the room. “Dad and Doxy are gone.” She went over to Lilly, “Are you feeling any better?”

Lilly looked at her sister as she moved her hooves on the table. “No… I don’t feel well. I just don’t know… what it is.”

“So, what do we do?” Fluttershy said as she touched Lilly’s hoof with her own. “Where did they go?”

Grace looked at her mother. “Dad took him to the doctor.” She blinked. “They will be back soon. Don’t blame yourself Mom.”

“What?” Fluttershy said as she stood up to look at her daughter. “Grace, what are you saying?”

Grace shook her head. “I just told you that Dad took Dox to the doctor.”

“You said that I shouldn’t blame myself.”

“I did?” Grace looked confused.

Lilly sat up. “Mom, should we go to the doctors? I can take us there.”

Fluttershy was about to nod when Discord appeared in the room holding Paradox in his arms, Paradox had his arms wrapped in clean bandages and he looked small and miserable. “We’re back.” Discord commented softly as he placed Paradox on a chair.

Paradox slumped on the chair and looked across at Lilly. “I… didn’t mean to…”

Discord frowned when he heard his son mutter those words. “Paradox, you need to get rest.”

Fluttershy ran to Paradox. “Your arms, oh Doxy… what happened?” She looked at his eyes and they looked sad and his luster was gone. “Can I do anything for you?”

“Mom, I tried to get rid of it… but Dad told me to not do it, he told me not to hurt myself, but it’s there.”

“What? What’s there?” Fluttershy asked as she looked at him.

Paradox leaned to her. “You don’t see it?”

“No…” Fluttershy looked scared.

Lilly sat up. “Mom, don’t… it won’t help.” She said in a panic as she felt her stomach lurch.

“I tried to claw it out of me, the monster… I’m the monster and I tried to get rid of it… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t want to… Dad made me promise not to harm myself again.” He put his head down; his mane seemed to turn gray with his mood.

“I feel sick.” Lilly commented as she put her head down as well.

Discord put his paw on Fluttershy. “Paradox needs rest.” He then kneeled next to her and said in a whisper. “I don’t know what happened before, but he tried to do himself a lot of harm. We just have to keep watch over him.”

“Dox, Lilly… You both need rest.” Discord said out loud.

“I’ll be okay.” Lilly said as she sat up again and took in a deep breath. “I’m going to…” She turned pale, stood up and ran out of the kitchen.

Scarlet Grace put her paw and claw on her ears when she heard Lilly retching in the other room. “Ewww. Lilly puked.”


Story: Paradox’s Despair. Chapter 3 (blood warning)


feathers artwork scattered on the floor
feathers artwork scattered on the floor


Lilly put her hooves around her head; she let out a growl as she sat at the kitchen table. Fluttershy sat across from her she was worried about both her son and daughter. Discord appeared in the kitchen. “What! What happened?” He looked at Lilly who was clutching her head as if she was going explode. He went over to her and looked into her eyes. “LillyRose? Double flower. What is wrong?”

Lilly looked at him and flinched at the pain inside her head. “Dad, it’s not me… It’s Paradox, he’s…” She gasped out as she put her hooves over her ears. “He’s going to hurt himself.”

Discord stood up quickly and disappeared. He reappeared in the hallway upstairs and he opened the door to Paradox’s bedroom. He saw his son on the floor feathers all over the place along with paintings and artwork torn up from Paradox’s own claws. Paradox was clawing at his arms leaving long scratches through his fur and bleeding. “No!” Discord grabbed Paradox, holding his paws back. “Stop that! STOP! Don’t hurt yourself… Don’t… I won’t… let you.” He used his magic and wrapped Paradox’s arms in the bedding that was torn up. He looked into Paradox’s eyes making him look at him. “Why are you doing this?”

Paradox looked at his father as if he didn’t recognize him; his blue eyes lost their shine. Discord swallowed hard seeing that his son had changed so suddenly in just a few hours. Paradox blinked slowly. “Why… did you stop me? Why? I… Am not supposed to be here… I am not supposed to be… I am a monster.” He grabbed the wrappings on his arms. “I’ve got to destroy the monster.”

“No!” Discord pulled his son to him. “Don’t hurt yourself. Don’t…”

“Dad…” Paradox said softly.

“I’m here Dox. You’re not bad, don’t hurt yourself. Promise not to hurt yourself.” Discord said to him. “You hurt yourself you hurt your mother, you hurt your sisters, and you hurt me.”

“I won’t hurt myself Dad. I… don’t feel good. I feel… horrible.” He looked down at the torn sheets around his arms and there was some blood showing through. “I think I am bleeding.”

“I know.” Discord swallowed as he pulled Paradox close. “We’ll go to the doctors, get you healed.”

“Nothing will heal me.” Paradox muttered as he felt emptiness inside. “There is no cure for a monster.”

“Who called you a monster?” Discord asked.

Paradox shook his head. “Does it matter? No… I have seen the monster and it is me. I am nothing but a monster. I will always be one… Not deserving of… anyone or anything.” He looked at his paws and they shook as he retracted his claws. “My fingers are red.”

“My fingers are red.”
“My fingers are red.”

Discord put his paw on Paradox’s paws. “Don’t look at them and don’t say that about yourself. We love you, your family loves you. Remember that. I’m taking you to see the doctor.” He snapped his fingers and they both disappeared and the feathers and papers on the floor flew about in the aftermath. Scarlet Grace had watched the exchange quietly.